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iluvsekcchonies
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: me(lauren) left/\ holly t
Location: Fort Worth, Texas, United States
Birthday: 9/17/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: singin.soccer.school.
photography.singing.
my TGC homies(none).
mexican mafia.
australia.new zealand.
Fiji.south africa. dancing.
singing.shopping.
getting dressed up.
laughing.singing.enjoying myself.
learning to live life to the fullest.
DeEp tHinKiNg.(oooo).spending money i dont have. photography.singing.being catholic.
but most of all and above all=NcYc and everyone and everything that comes with it, including dani,liesl,em,greg,binz,logan,the almighty ween, chuck, stroh, liz, molly, fr.matt, fr.anthony, the campus, sju,morning prayer, compline(yes compline), that gorgeous lake, volleyball, etc...
Expertise: i wouldnt necesarily call it an expertise ...
Message: message me
AIM:  iluvsekcchonies
Member Since:
4/2/2004
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| OMG NEW XANGA!!!!!!!
CHECK IT
beep delta
BETTER YET BEEP THIS:
http://www.xanga.com/une_nuit_damour | | |
| wow I feel stupid.. i didnt expect holly or steven to read that...
dumdumdum | | |
| leave comments, you stupid jews.
by holly's steven:
So I'm burning memories and tearing up inside
But .. is it a ripping, screaming târ
or just a simple falling tîr?
My whisper, a tale of bitter goodbyes - and nights that never last for a sunrise.
I sit, alone and shielded from the world, by blankets and covers of velvet. This letter I'm writing you, slowly keeping within slight margins of expected height, straight edges and the soft curves of letters.
I's, dotted slowly and with regret, a memory of chocolate brown, specks of glowing yellow flames dancing amongst dark charcoal - eyes to lose your way and wander within forever. I can only curse that forever lasted just a year, a year and eleven days.
Words drifting along the page, black spiders crawling across the white snow of winter's heart - that forsaken God of long days and darker nights. This is just a book, a dream that remains unfulfilled, parchment filling with scratches of ink and blackened smudges. This is my whisper, almost too soft to hear - barely there, but only if you were still here to listen.
A year was too long to wait. And now the calendar's ripped down, pages torn and pictures scattered. A year, turned to just another number, just another date.
So I consume myself, pour words onto paper as water onto dirt, swirling dust and forming mud - dark marks of the best intentions. But mud merely splatters onto the best of clothes, and this ink can only force screams from the best of hearts. This is what I could never say.
I could give a kiss a thousand times, hold you there - trapped between the aching sky and I. But that word, that little word, became the reserved emotion of idealistic tendencies. And even as I stared into hopeful eyes, the word withdrew deep into a mind of walls and thorns.
Thorns that prick, drawing blood with every reassurance not spoken - walls that shield, from the hopes of dreams and wishing for fairy tales.
So this is my whisper, a single breath along a thousand others. Lonely, in a crowd of masked eyes and darker words, lonely without you.
This is everything I always wanted to say. But never did.
Remember.
We lay there on your bed, drifting in that moment before sleep takes hold, the minutes seeming to wash between us, lapping waves on a beach in moonlight, gentle circles pressed by my finger into your palm. You never noticed I wrote what I couldn't say. Never thought it was any more than an idle design of restless hands.
You dancing beside me, smiling as the ecstasy took hold and the release of normal ties became reality. Twirling in circles with hands outstretched, falling backwards together onto the new grass of spring, laughing and staring as the sky spins above. I whispered the only three words that came to mind, the only three that could hold the moment together, but the tone was soft and the sun was bright.
We ran, rolled, down the hill in the park that summer. At the bottom, you tilted your neck back as I softly kissed from ear to throat. You never saw my lips move, forming the simple words, you never saw my mouth open, you never saw it close.
One year in celebration, the joy I saw in your face, and the hope that the words would rise that night to waiting heart and burning stars. But they were bitten back, my moment's fear turned into the ending of forever, just eleven days after.
When you came and said you weren't happy anymore, silently begging with eyes of the darkest brown. And as I said nothing, throat clenched shut and lips far too sealed, you turned and left.
Forever lasted a year, a year and eleven days.
Boys don't cry. So I'm tearing up inside. Tearing the pictures from the walls and the curtains from the eyes. I'm seeing now, as I burn this book of unfinished dreams and invisible castles, that a tear is just another salty drop of sweat, falling down - to burn out quickly in this raging fire.
A single tear landing on the disappointments of the fire, this fire and our year. Not enough to keep the blaze from burning this book - this book of angles and lines, letters and words, love and regret. Not enough to stop the smoke from rising, up to the cold winter's heart. I implore the God of winter, that frozen maid of ice and death, to breathe in this letter.
Pages of one phrase, written a thousand ways.
† By Steven
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† Lauren
Thank you for everything Chicago
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| and life is better, if only i knew what to do with it, ill figure it out eventually.. look at those psat books at the list of majors, nd you have to pick ONE... scurry!! i picked about seven and i have no idea how ill ever narrow it down gaaaarrghh!!!!
*breath*
*breath* | | |
| well they were all from caroline, i guess her love will effectively replace the large lack of from everyone else. so im tryna write my term paper on jews, due tomorrow, and i havent been able to do it all wknd bc i was busy winning third place varsity at the Newman Smith debate tourn...'yay'.
jenny got second
drew got third
both novice/\
and thats my weekend. if you cared.
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